Ingathering

Slept in again today! It's really surprising because my mom like never lets us sleep in. I'm lovin' it!!! I'd better not get used to it though... :(

Ok, since I have some time on my hands now and I'm not altogether hungry or anything, I guess I could write about some things I learned or that really stood out to me over the Ingathering weekend.
     I got to the village, as I wrote in a blog before, after the burning which really made me upset, but I was there for some of the talking in the tent afterwards. Right as I walked up, Khale stood up and talked. I was grateful that I didn't miss that!! I was amazed at how much God has been doing in the hearts of the Sundari Jewels and Silver Knights since I've left!! It was a big shock to see how they all acted during the Ingathering compared to how they used to act and be. I was overwhelmed with a sense of how great our God is!!! He can do anything if only we believe! At one point towards the end, Papa Jeremiah stood up and talked about laying up your treasures in Heaven. He said that we need to let everything go and give it all to God and He will give us everything back 100 fold. I've heard that a lot in my life but it has never quite hit me as it hit me then. All of a sudden I felt like God stood Papa Jeremiah up to say that just for me. Like Papa Jeremiah was starring at me the entire time. I didn't know what to do. What he was saying was exactly what I had been struggling with for a little over a week. I had been crying out to God every day, asking Him to speak to me and help me to be okay with what He was asking me to let go of. Here He was, in the form of Papa Jeremiah, answering my prayers in a way that I didn't think He would use. I was filled with a peace that I hadn't known before. I had prayed a couple nights before asking God to give me peace in knowing that what I was doing was His will. Now I knew for sure that I was doing what was right.
I'd like to say that after that experience I was fine and never struggled with it again, but I can't. The next day the same struggles came on me, but I had the strength to work through them. I wanted to work through them. I wanted to do God's will. I've always wanted to know God's will for my life, most people do, and when I found out that this was His will for now, I poured myself into it with everything that I had.
Every day I have to struggle and work through the same thing, but I know that there is an end in sight and I'm doing God's will and it makes me happy! Sometimes when my friends talk about certain things, it brings me back to what my self wants and I get to thinking about my self and I become terribly depressed. I just want to crawl up in a ball and bury myself in a deep hole and never see the light of day again, but I have to work through it. Sometimes it takes leaving the room or just looking for God because He'll always be there when we need Him.
I know that I'll keep struggling with this for a long time, but that is because there are beings who want to take me out and pull me away from God. I am going to do everything in my power to keep on the path towards God and keep fighting against self. God never asks us to do anything that we can't do!